Take family members and friends of every generation, add a giant heap of emotion and an absurd amount of alcohol and you’re guaranteed to get a few awkward (possibly even cringe-worthy) moments over the course of your wedding day – sorry, but it’s inevitable. With that said, you can actually ensure that these embarrassing mishaps don’t resonate with guests by ensuring none of them happen anywhere near either a stage or a microphone.

The first step is to carefully consider the people who will speak on your big day. Have an uncle who is famously self-aggrandizing? Politely request that he share his memories in the guest book. A best friend who still revels in the outrageous university exploits you had together? Suggest that she read a predetermined poem during the ceremony.

Once you’ve selected the speakers who are most likely to highlight your wonderful qualities (instead of the fact that you had dreadlocks in high school) you absolutely must ensure that they watch this video and never (ever!) mention any of the following five things:

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